Weekly Reflection
#14
"Neediness"
 

• How would it feel to be called a needy person?
• Can you recall instances where you felt unsupported – by God, by friends, by co-workers, by your own skills or knowledge?
• When your needs aren’t met, how do you satisfy the craving?
• Recall times in your life when you felt full, complete, and satisfied.

When our life is being directed by our soul there is a sense of fullness and completeness. We feel deep down we have whatever it takes to meet the challenges of the moment. There is a knowingness that goes beyond intellectual projections of what the future might hold. We simply know that everything will turn out perfectly. This doesn’t mean we don’t have to participate in the unfolding, or that we won’t feel challenged. In fact, the soul relishes participating and witnessing how the Source manifests in the moment and eagerly responds with its ego-partner to assist in whatever way is called for. It isn’t afraid it will come up short, but instead jumps in with both feet letting go of the outcome. The ego has become its faithful partner and ally rather than trying to run the show and determine our needs.

The pseudo-soul (ego) is easily confused with true basic needs such as food, shelter, and safety compared to the needs it conjures to fill its false ideals and beliefs. These ideals and beliefs are based on the fictitious universe it creates to support its false sense of what it means to be human. Its relentless mantra is: “if I only had this...”. It can never be satisfied because it is trying to feed a mirage, or as the Buddhists are fond of saying: “a hungry ghost”. Neediness is very pervasive and typically a very subtle attribute of the pseudo-soul. It goes out of its way to rationalize and justify why it needs affirmations, things, status, specific types of food, clothes, friends, etc. The pseudo-soul is a true master at knowing our deepest fears and goes to any length to keep us in the dark about the world it has created for us. With its chest pushed out and in a loud voice it demands: “Don’t call me needy!”. This belies a very deep need to keep its true mission a secret.

An exercise that is useful to repeat one or two times a year is to make an honest list of your needs. A good way to start is by taking a simple inventory of your life style. (I need to hear I’m loved; I need xx pairs of shoes; I need a certain type of car, house, food, income, body, sheets, weather, or friends to be happy; etc.) A very effective way of learning to deal with the pseudo-soul is being able to admit to your (its) needs. Most people’s lists will be quite long if they are being truly honest with themselves. Be careful not to label these needs as bad or good. For now they just “are”. It is very difficult to heal something if you won’t let yourself see the challenge in the first place. After making your list (perhaps with a partner or friend), choose a few of the needs you would like to explore on a deeper level. Set your intention that over time (to be determined by your soul) you would no longer like to be needy.